Friday, July 14, 2006

A Certain Step into Uncertainty

I have made up my mind. And i told Sharon my decision today. She will tell Bill soon.

What would happen next? I don't know.
Will i regret it? I don't know.

Thursday, July 13, 2006

The Quest of Unification

Just watched a tv program about physics. It talks about how theoretical physics pursue the unified theory of universe--the unification of general relativity and quantum mechanics. Of course, i don't understand much. I guess i only get 10% of the contents and I was totally lost when it gets to string theories.

But i was attracted by the main theme: they quest of unification. It started with the theory of gravity unified explanation of planet orbit and gravitation on Earth, which later became general relativity. Then, the theory of electromagnetism unified explanations of phenomena related to electricity and magnetisim. Then comes quantum mechanics--the theory of matters that deeply based on probability rather than "universal law". Yet, physics is still in the quest of unifying all these theories, hoping to come up with simple elegant theories to "understand the universe at all levels".

Perhaps the quest of unification is a common disease among scientists, an pathetic obsession of distilling the world into simple theories.

I am afraid that i have also contracted the disease.

i constantly realize that i am just a simple-minded person, who urges to simplify the world to make it manageable. Isn't it so true? Life could be condensed into a few simple rules that transcend time and space. "To love and be loved" is the #1 and "Follow your heart" seems getting #2. Same for my motivation to research. i wish that by focusing my efforts on research, my world would become manageable, getting rid of the crazy, complicated, fuzzy things going on. That's my quest of unification




Wednesday, July 12, 2006

The trip to Phuket













Elaine and I have been planning a trip to Phuket when i go back. She persuaded me to finish the summer paper earlier (and risk upsetting the department for leaving early). Actually i really want to spend some time with her under the sunshine on the beach. Afterall, she has only 1 week of holiday every year.

So, we paid the money to join a guided tour. I was going to step on the plane in the afternoon of July 18th, hours after i landed on Hong Kong.

But. There is always a BUT. The travel agent changes the flight time to 8.00 in the morning! Even if my flight does not delay, i will only have half an hour to check in and get on the plane. That means: IMPOSSIBLE! And the travel agent refuses to refund because they had never guaranteed flight time. So, jessie will take up my place.

I am very upset. i guess Elaine is very upset too. But i wish that they will have fun. Perhaps the good thing is i don't need to pack my bathing suit.

To introduce:
Elaine (right) is the 2nd, a kindergarten teacher
Fanky (left) is the 4th, working in HongKong Disneyland

Sunday, July 09, 2006

Cake Making #1







It was June 2nd, 2006. Koman came to my place to make chocolate cake and puff. Then, we made a party out of it so we made Greek salad, lasagna, and a smoked salmon quiche (Look at the table!). It was a lot of work but so much more fun. Koman and i are perfect partners!


















We watched Narnia after the dinner. I like the movie a lot!











May i introduce our handsome guests:


Back: Jacky, George
Front: David, Edwin

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

To Go?

Overwhelmingly, everybody advises me to follow my heart. I don't know whether it's because i am working on a lower level construal than they are, or because of the inevitable anxiety associatd with anticipation of change, i just feel reluctant to make the decision.

If i follow my heart, i should go for an environment where i can realize my beliefs and interests in research.

During the past few years in marketing, there were many times i asked myself "what's the point?" when i think of my research. Learning about how people think and act is my motivation to research. If my research should have any practical implications, i want them to be something for human well-being rather than enhancing marketing practice. Honestly, I felt uneasy when i put down "improve marketing practice" at the "research significance" item on the IRB form, even though nobody really cares about that item.

I could be making an unfair judgment about the marketing (esp. consumer behavior) discipline. I aware of that. But i was very frustrated when my performence evaluation reads "Recognizing your interest (in) social pyschological approaches to research, you should insure that you do not lose the marketing perspective and relevance to your research." Apparently i do not agree with that person on
what CB research should be.

Then, what is holding me back? The uncertainty about a completely different discipline is the #1 fear. Although i know many psychologists and i have been working with a number of them, i am still a stranger to the discipline. I just took an undergrad level introduction to social psychology class! There are practical issues too. I need to deal with the separation and the money matter. Perhaps, these are the costs of following the heart.




Saturday, July 01, 2006

To Go or Not to Go?

I finally got a chance to talk with CY about transfering to Social Psychology. The situation might not be that bad. I thought that i might need to add at least one more year if i switch, but in fact it is not necessary. If i work very hard and if publication record is not a concern (e.g., going back to Hong Kong for jobs), it is indeed possible to finish it within the four-year timeframe.

And the timing is good too. CY has not been recruiting students for three years and he is planning to get new student soon. Probably he will admit me if i apply.

But i really need to think about WHY? I cannot deny that part of the reason is my sentiment towards my department. The past year was full of dissapointing incidents. I do not agree with them on many of their perspectives. I do not even agree with them on their view of academia.

Change is not easy. I have been in business since my undergrad years. These six years, to an extent, have built up my instinct in this area. Am i be able to be a psychologist? Am i be able to take up psychology as major rather than a supporting area?

I am at a crossroad now. The status quo is always easy to maintain. But is it something i really want?